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Sweet 16th

Sweet 16

Long gone are the days when a sweet 16th party meant crowding around a bong in your backyard before getting awkwardly felt up to Panic! At the Disco and eating your weight in fairy bread. The youths of today are making trouble in a whole new way, using mummy and daddy’s sweet guilt dollars to sponsor Disney-esque orgies as shown in a horrifying new clip.

Come in the latest promo for ‘Metro Mouse’ – a Brisbane enterprise we can only assume is run by an army of bogan Terry Richardson wannabes – whom run and document ‘parties’ where kids are encouraged to grind on each other and sip upon some delightful Smirnoff Double Blacks.

Hosting ‘Kim and Tia’s 16th’, Metro Mouse has done some serious future-ruining in their latest video below, and to be pretty honest, the whole thing makes us feel outright nauseous. The parade of pseudo-lesbian lip locking, crusty rave outfits and that shrimpy dude with a cigar (where did you get a cigar, YOU’RE 12) set to trap vibes amalgamates to personify everything that’s wrong with kids these days.

Sweet 16

The thought that this is the next crop of ravers gives us serious fears and makes us consider three questions; who the hell is paying for this shit, why is this baby-party culture being glorified and who’s the perv filming what is effectively a soft teen porno?

Hopefully, the answer to these questions will be found.

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