If you’ve been to more than a few festivals in your lifetime, you have surely started to notice patterns in the people you see. Stereotypes suck, but for some reason they always seem to be true. Especially at festivals, which are basically a melding pot with people from every spectrum of society conglomerating. We’ve thrown together a list showing 20 of the most common types of people that you see at festivals!
The 20 People You See At Festivals – Part 2.
These sensationalized stereotypes were created for comical consumption. But we think you can find any of this charackters in a real live when you will visit your favourite rave.
Preface: These sensationalized stereotypes were created for comical consumption.
Glover
You’re geeking like a mathematician, and this guy has a talent that will take you to geek level Urkle (That’s level 60 face being rolled, real talk). Fortunately, you have your Auroravizion Diffraction glasses on deck so it looks like God has personally decended for this lightshow
Inexplicable Metal Head
Dubstep, brostep, drumstep, trapstep, Dutch moombahcore-glichstep, etc. have attracted a different crowd with their mosh-pit inducing style. This dude came just for the pit.
The Smelly One
Speaking of the pit. Not a mosh pit — apparently, just this dudes pit. That’s what it smells like anyways. He didn’t shower for 3 days before, and it’s now day 3 of the festival.
Han Solo
You and the rave fam are ducking and bobbing to some filthy slaps, when Han Solo crash lands. He gives you the fist bump of peace, trades kandi with your best bro, dances with Sally, asks if you have party favors, then dipsets to another group to do it all over again. At first you think he’s a friend of a friend in the crew. No. This is… Han Solo. The solo mission master.
The Blogger
Dude. he got in totally free and has a sweet lanyard to prove it.
The Parent
Thank god Ultra is an all ages event because little 13 year old Suzy persuaded her parental figures to allow her to go. Not without their direct in-person supervision though. Who would of though they would stand out wearing khakis and a button down?
Random Middle-Aged Person
This person is 40 years old and saw a flier for the festival on the local news bulletin board. With expendable income, they thought “why not check it out?”
Poi master
Watch the fuck out. This dude has possibly flaming balls of death tied to a string traveling at the speed of rave. That’s fast. That’s smart.
Twerk Machine
Is it worth it, let me work it.
Green Man
You’ve all seen the morphsuit dude. He’s wearing a standard issue suit, but he’s jazzed it up with his own flare and made the outfit his own.
The guy who borrows your lighter
Hey bro! Can I borrow your lighter?
This is actually a vicious circle. Once this guy runs off with yours… you become the guy who borrows other peoples lighters.
Dances with you… But has a boyfriend
You’re finally cutting up a rug with a good looking member of the opposite sex (or same sex if that’s your thing). After a half hour of balls deep intimacy, you try to get in their ear and see whats up for the rest of the night. Jakes on you, she “has a boyfriend”.
Flag Guy
This dude is running through the crowd with a Brazilian flag on his back yelling BRAZIL!!!
Tree Climber
If you were at Ultra this year, you’ve seen this.
Observe the wild raver in it’s natural habitat. Careful now. Don’t spook him. Oh no, there he goes — right up that tree.
The Radio Station
They’re trying to remain relevant in a dying industry, so they set up their “station” out front of the venue. All they’re doing is playing top-40 tracks and giving stickers out.
Tall guy
Nobody in this guys group actually likes him. They have acquired his presence specifically so that no one ever gets lost. You can see his dome clear over the crowd from miles away. So naturally he’s used for keeping track of your crew. This is the natural born enemy of the short girl.
The Team
Did you catch the memo that this festival was Super Hero themed? No? They did. This 36 person deep clique has gone to great length to wear a certain theme that has nothing to do with the festival.
Banner
They came for the photograph they’ll be seen in after the event.
The Youtube Guy
This dude hasn’t danced since he purchased a smart phone. For whatever reason, instead of enjoying the moment and two stepping his way into heaven, he’s decided that it would be better to record the lights on his phone. Uh oh chain reaction has started, once one cell phone guy sees another one, they all start recording.
Cuddle Puddlers
They’re all wearing full body onesie pajamas and have melded into a 30 person puddle of fur and flesh.
The normal person
Oh wait… hey — this is you right? The normal person reading this article who doesn’t identify with any of these stereotypes. Stop being so normal. The above people are what make festivals great
